Pregnancy

tips for choosing a breast pump

How to Choose a Breast Pump

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Choosing a breast pump can be overwhelming at first with all of the different options out there. There are a few factors that come into play when you are making a selection, so hopefully this guide will help you in your decision. 

My posts may contain affiliate links, which means that I may earn a small commission from your purchase, with no extra cost to you!

If you prefer to listen instead of read, check out my podcast on this subject HERE. 

First, check with your insurance company to see what they cover. If you are in the US, your insurance is required to cover a breast pump under the affordable care act. I went into detail on how to get a breast pump through insurance HERE. Most of the time, your insurance will give you a list of pumps that are covered completely, and in some cases a second option of pumps that would be covered in partial. If you go through a third party company like Aeroflow, you will be able to see exactly what your out of pocket cost would be based on the pump you select. This is a great start as there are so many awesome pumps out there, so this is an easy way to narrow the selection down to a few. 

If your insurance does not cover a pump purchase (they could only cover a rental) or if the pumps they offer do not appeal to you, the next step is determining your budget. Electric pumps typically cost more than manual models.

Different types of pumps:

Manual Pumps

Manual breast pumps require you to hold the pump up to your breast with one hand while you manually pump with the other. This type of pump is usually one of the least expensive options, but it requires the most amount of work and time. A manual pump works great as a backup, for travel, or if you will not have to pump often. Pumps start at just $14 dollars on Amazon for something basic like the Q-Jing, or you could opt for a better known brand like the Medela Harmony or the Lansinoh Manual Pump. 

Electric Pumps

Electric breast pumps plug in and automatically pump the milk for you. These pumps come in both single and double electric options, meaning they can either pump one or two breasts at a time. Some of the top contenders in 2019 for electric pumps include the Spectra S1 or S2 (They are the same except the S1 comes with a battery pack options), and the Medela Pump In Style. Don’t worry if your insurance doesn’t cover either of these though, there are so many great options out there! 

Wearable Pumps

Wearable (or hands-free) pumps fit inside your bra so you can remain hands free. These pumps usually cost significantly more because they are quiet and discreet. One of the best brands on the market currently is the Willow wearable breast pump. However, not all insurances will cover the cost at this time. You can also opt in for wearable flanges that will attach to your regular pump such as the Freemie cups (check out my full review HERE). 

Hospital Grade Pumps

Hospital-grade breast pumps are the most powerful options out there and are designed to be safely used by multiple different people. A hospital grade pump excels in establishing your milk supply, but a standard electric pump works just fine at maintaining supply. There are many different types of hospital grade pumps on the market, ranging from $150 to thousands of dollars. Most hospitals will allow you to rent a hospital grade pump and many insurances will even help cover the cost of the rental.

We were able to use and rent the Ameda Platinum pump in the hospital and for the first few days at home while I was waiting for my milk to come in. It was a great pump, but very heavy and hard to transport so it would not have made a good personal pump. My local hospital rents them for $20 a week to give you an idea of what the pre-insurance price is, but it’s best to check with your specific hospital to find out what the cost would be. 

Silicon Collectors

A silicon pump/collector is just a flexible silicone cup that attaches to one breast while nursing on the other. It is used to catch letdown and pull a little bit of extra milk out while you are breastfeeding. You can also use it as a basic manual pump if needed, but I have found it harder to collect milk without the letdown. One of the most common brands are the Haakaa pumps, but there are so many great options online. Check out my full review of the different types of Haakaa pumps, along with a couple of alternate brand recommendations HERE. 

Things to consider when choosing a breast pump:

Some of the following items will matter to some people rather than others. If you are a stay at home mom and will only be pumping in your living room, you may not care if the pump is loud or even necessarily need a double electric. However, if you will be taking your pump to work and have to limit your time, you might prefer a quieter double electric pump to keep the noise down and limit the amount of time you spend pumping. 

1. Is the suction adjustable?

What’s comfortable for one woman might be uncomfortable for another. If you opt for an electric pump, you might want to choose one that allows you to control the degree of suction and cycling speed. Some pumps let you control these using one dial, while others will let you control the suction and speed independently from each other. 

2. How do the breast shields fit?

Breast shields are the cone-shaped flanges that fit over your breasts and nipples. If you think that the standard size breast shield that comes with the pump will be too small, check with the pump manufacturers about other sizes. Larger, smaller, or replacement shields are sometimes available for purchase. If you want to pump both breasts at once, make sure the pump comes with two shields.

3. How noisy is the pump?

I personally sit at my desk in the open while I pump, so a quiet pump was a necessity for me. The pump I keep at home was much louder, but it did the trick and I didn’t mind having a louder pump while I was in the comfort of my own home. Determine how and where you will be pumping to see if the noise level of your pump matters to you. 

4. Does it need electricity?

Some pumps will be battery operated, plug in, or have an option for both. Does your pumping room have an accessible outlet? Will you be traveling frequently and need to pump in the car or on a plane? These are all questions you should ask yourself before you decide if your pump will fit your needs. However, just because a pump doesn’t have a battery backup, doesn’t necessarily mean it is out. There are a lot of converters you can use for the car or plugs in an airport to make it work – again, it just matters what you think is important. 

Final Thoughts

If you’re not sure which type of breast pump would work best for your needs, ask for help. A lactation consultant (also known as IBCLC’s) can help you make the best choice and offer support through your breastfeeding and pumping journey. If you haven’t worked with a lactation consultant before, ask for recommendations from a friend, your child’s pediatrician, or your OBGYN/ Midwife. You can also show up to any LaLetche League meetings or check your local hospital’s for breastfeeding support groups. 

You might also enjoy the following posts: 

Pumping At Work

Insurance Covered Breast Pumps

Everything you need to know about Breastfeeding

Medela vs. Spectra

Or Check out my breastfeeding blog page HERE!

Follow me on Twitter @growingrfamily so you can join in on the conversation!

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medela vs spectra

Medela vs. Spectra

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If you ask any mom forum or online chat what the best double electric pump is, chances are you will be bombarded with other moms praising the Medela Pump in Style or the Spectra S1/S2. I was lucky enough to purchase both the Medela and the Spectra S2 for my pumping needs. On maternity leave, I didn’t really have a preference – they both have pros and cons. However, after months of using them, I have definitely developed a preference.

My posts may contain affiliate links, which mean that I may earn a small commission from your purchase, with no extra cost to you!

Medela

Pros:

  • Auto switches from letdown to regular mode after 2 minutes
  • Better customer service
  • Battery pack
  • Works with narrow neck bottles (like Dr. Browns)

Cons:

  • No light
  • Louder than expected
  • Only one dial for suction & speed

Spectra

Pros:

  • Can control suction & speed separately
  • Has 3 light settings (Dim, bright, and off)
  • Quiet – Sounds more like a vibrating sound vs a squeaky wheel

Cons:

  • No battery pack
  • Uses wide neck bottles
  • Harder to modify for freemie cups
  • Have to push the letdown button at beginning go go into letdown mode and again after 2 minutes to get out of it

My experience so far:

I bought the Freemie cups so I can pump at my cubical at work. I work with 8 other men and cleared it with them before hand and everyone said it was fine. At 6x per day and 15-20 minutes per pump, that’s 2 hours extra a day I would spend away from my baby to get my hours in at work if I had to pump in the car or bathroom.

I decided on bringing the spectra because it is quieter. The loudness of the Medela would probably start to get annoying if I had to listen to it all day. I packed it in a lunch box and zipped it up with the backflow preventer inside, only leaving the tubes and cord out to suppress as much sound as possible. Not one of my coworkers could hear the pump AT All, I can hardly hear it and that’s only when I’m trying to listen for it. I pump in the car on the way to work and 5 other times throughout the day to make enough milk for daycare. I thought I was going to have to take the medela because it has a battery pack but I just bought a converter for the cigarette lighter and it works great with my car. Overall, I have had a really good experience with my spectra pump at work!

Final Thoughts

Overall, I have really enjoyed both pumps. If I had to choose one over the other I would probably select the Spectra S2 again. Between the more natural feel of the suction, the silent pump sounds, and the light options, it really has worked out better for my needs.

Get the Freemie Cups through amazon here:


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Choosing a Breast Pump Medela vs Spectra
Hiding a pregnancy during events

10 tips for hiding a Pregnancy during the Holidays

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Many women are not ready to share the news with everyone early in their pregnancy. This can be particularly hard during the holidays when you are surrounded by friends and family, and there is usually lots of drinking involved. Here are some tips for hiding a pregnancy during the holiday season if you are not ready to share yet. 

If you have a nosy coworker, friend, or relative that decides to call you out on the fact that you aren’t drinking, here are some easy responses. 

If you prefer to listen instead of read, check out Episode 28 of the Pregnancy Podcast! If you have additional tips, leave a comment with how you were able to hide your pregnancy during the holidays!

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A guide to hiding a pregnancy during the holidays with alcohol

1. “I’m on antibiotics”

This can shut people down pretty quickly because they realize it is a personal answer. I’m not sure why people feel the need to call out anybody who isn’t drinking, but I found this excuse works most of the time. If they start pushing further, you can say something like “I have a UTI” and that usually turns them beet red and ends the questions right there. If you don’t feel comfortable lying about something like a UTI, just say you are on a z-pak for a sinus infection. Most holidays fall during cold and flu season anyways so this is not a far stretch. 

2. Pretend to drink

You can either talk with the bartender or waitress in private to fill them in on the secret, or you can just order a sprite with lime and pretend it’s a vodka soda, fill a champagne flute with ginger ale, or empty out a dark beer bottle and fill it with whatever you want. If you are at a table situation, just order the drink before you sit down and bring it with you. When the waitress comes around, just tell them you already have a drink from the bar and nurse it for as long as possible. 

If you are looking for some clever mocktails recipes, check out this list on The Bump!

3. “I’m SO hungover”

Make up an excuse as to why you drank way too much last night and the thought of drinking today makes you want to hurl. This only works if nobody at the party was hanging out with you the previous night, but it usually works well otherwise. Bonus points if the first trimester already has you feeling queasy and extra tired to help pull off the act.  

4. Find a Friend

Either recruit your partner or ask a friend to be your helper for the evening. There are a few methods to pulling this off. First, you can have your helper drink from your cup throughout the night without anyone noticing. If you are afraid of accidentally drinking your own drink, have your helper order a non alcoholic drink and switch with you when nobody’s looking. If you aren’t around anyone that you trust with the news yet, just pretend like you don’t like your drink and pass it off to someone else to finish. 

5. Fake it til you make it

You can order a glass of wine and dump half of it out the next time you step into the restroom. Carry around your half glass for most of the evening and it’s likely nobody will notice you aren’t actively drinking from it. The only downside to this is accidentally drinking it when you aren’t thinking about it. 

6. Create an event

Tell people you are doing a “Dry December” during the holiday season. You can even make a joke about how you are trying to give your liver a break or you are saving your calories for dessert. Just act like it’s no big deal and people shouldn’t question you – although they shouldn’t be asking in the first place either. 

7. Leave early

You can show up early, be social, and then leave before it really starts to get rowdy. Most people don’t start pestering you about your drinking preferences until they themselves have had a few too many to drink. Sober friends and family should know better than to ask someone a personal question, but once they’ve had a few drinks, etiquette normally goes out the window. 

8. “I think I’m coming down with something”

You can pretend like you are coming down with a cold and just say that you think you should stay away from alcohol today just to be safe. Carry some tissues around and cough once in a while to really sell it. This might also aid in keeping people away from you, and then you don’t have to socialize – win-win!

9. Be the DD

Nobody ever argues with saying you are the designated driver. Just say something like “hubby has been chauffeuring me around the last few events so I figured it was my turn to drive.” You can announce this to friends, waitresses, the bartender, etc. and people generally stop bugging you after that. 

10. Talk up future plans

If none of the previous options appeal to you, you can always just talk about how excited you are for a soak in the hot tub or how much you are looking forward to your next Vegas getaway. People might have been suspicious before, but this will hopefully throw them off your trail.  

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If you enjoyed this post, check out my guide to the First Trimester!

inducing labor naturally

Natural Ways to Induce Labor

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Some women turn to finding ways of inducing labor naturally when they are nearing or have passed their due date. Although it can seem like those last few weeks will last a lifetime, you will be holding your little one soon! Just remember, a due date is just an estimate based on your last monthly period and is not an exact science. Unfortunately, unless your body is ready, the following suggestions will most likely not be very effective. While some are relatively harmless, others pose a greater risk. 

The following suggestions should only be performed after speaking with your prenatal care provider. Most of these are based on the assumption that you have a normal low-risk pregnancy. 

Tune in to this week’s podcast episode if you prefer to listen instead of read: https://growingourfamily.com/S01E24/ 

My posts may contain affiliate links, which means that I may earn a small commission from your purchase, with no extra cost to you!

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Inducing labor naturally

Exercise

Going for a long walk or climbing stairs is one of the safest ways to jump start labor. There aren’t really any major concerns when it comes to walking as long as you don’t go to the point of exhaustion. Being in this upright position uses gravity to help Baby descend further down. Climbing stairs is excellent because you have a wider range of motion and this can help put some pressure on your cervix. Listen to your body, if it’s telling you to slow down or stop, you should probably do so. 

Warm Bath

Soaking in a warm bath can help relax you and your body, which can in-turn help start labor. This method should work with any relaxation technique – you can try meditation, visual imagery, or practice breathing techniques. Tension works against labor, so relieving it can help get things moving. Although baths do not pose a high risk like hot tubs, make sure to follow the ACOG guidelines to ensure you are keeping yourself and baby safe. 

Nipple Stimulation

Gentle nipple stimulation can help trigger contractions. Notice I say “gentle” as you do not need to prepare your nipples for breastfeeding, and now is definitely not the time to start trying to toughen them up. This stimulation can help trigger an oxytocin release, which in turn signals your body to start contracting. If you would not like to do this by hand, you can try using an electric breast pump to help stimulation. 

Sex

This is the method I heard about the most during my pregnancy. This is probably such a common option because it supposedly works in three different ways. First, sex can trigger the release of oxytocin which is a hormone that causes contractions. Second, orgasm can help stimulate the uterus. Third, semen contains a high level of prostaglandins which is said to help ripen and soften your cervix. 

Raspberry Leaf Tea

According to the American Pregnancy Association, “Medical studies have shown that red raspberry leaf can be consumed safely during pregnancy and can decrease the length of labor and the number of interventions used, such as artificial rupture of membranes (AROM), assisted delivery, and cesarean delivery.” Red raspberry leaf tea helps tone the uterus, and although it doesn’t have any direct studies showing it can help start labor, it also doesn’t have any known dangers as long as you start drinking it after the first trimester. 

Caster Oil

You should definitely talk to your care provider before ever ingesting caster oil. This is a stimulant laxative and the theory is that while it causes contractions in your bowl, the contractions can spread to your uterus. While there aren’t any proven benefits to this method, there are a lot of downsides including nausea, bad diarrhea, and dehydration. You definitely don’t want to head into labor feeling sick and stuck to the toilet. 

Evening Primrose Oil

This can be taken orally or you can insert it vaginally. This is another one that I would talk with your pregnancy care provider before trying out. A study published in the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) showed that evening primrose oil not only didn’t help progress labor, it actually seemed to cause more complications. According to the study, “findings suggest that the oral administration of evening primrose oil from the 37th gestational week until birth does not shorten gestation or decrease the overall length of labor. Further, the use of orally administered evening primrose oil may be associated with an increase in the incidence of prolonged rupture of membranes, oxytocin augmentation, arrest of descent, and vacuum extraction.”

Spicy Food

Some women think spicy food can increase levels of prostaglandin. Others think it can help trigger contractions by stimulating your digestive system. Unfortunately, this method also doesn’t have any science to back it up, and will most likely just cause some horrific heartburn. There aren’t any major downsides, but if you are experiencing heartburn already, it might be best to skip this one. 

Pineapple

An enzyme called bromelain can be found in the core of fresh pineapple. This enzyme can break down the proteins in tissue; this is what causes your tongue to tingle or for your mouth to hurt after eating large amounts of pineapple. Wives tales say that the bromelain can make its way to your cervix and helps soften the cervix and stimulate labor. Unfortunately, there are no studies that support this claim and so far it looks to be a myth. If you want to give it a try anyways, go for it; there aren’t many downsides to enjoying pineapple during pregnancy except for the heartburn that may come along with it. 

Dates

A study published in the NCBI was conducted in 2007 that compared 114 pregnant women. 69 of these women ate 6 dates per day for the 4 weeks leading up to their due date, while the other 45 did not consume dates. The study concluded that “the consumption of date fruit in the last 4 weeks before labour significantly reduced the need for induction and augmentation of labour, and produced a more favourable, but non-significant, delivery outcome.” In addition to potentially inducing labor, they also are full of antioxidants, reduce blood pressure, high in fiber (great for pregnancy), and have so many other health benefits. It is safe to say that these would be a great healthy snack during the last weeks of pregnancy, whether they can help induce labor or not. 

What did you do to jump start your labor? 

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Resources:

OBGYN North: https://obgynnorth.com/natural-ways-to-encourage-labor/ 

ACOG Hot Tubs during pregnancy: https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/hot-tubs-during-pregnancy/ 

NCBI “Oral evening primrose oil: its effect on length of pregnancy and selected intrapartum outcomes in low-risk nulliparous women”: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10380450 

American Pregnancy Association: “Drinking Herbal Tea During Your Pregnancy”

NCBI “The effect of late pregnancy consumption of date fruit on labour and delivery”: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21280989 

Cloth Diapers

Cloth Diapers

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This week, I had the pleasure of talking with Makayla Kane. She is the creator of Southern Comfort Fitteds, a cloth diaper company. She also runs a blog where she provides helpful tips and suggestions regarding business, cloth diapering, productivity and organization, blogging, parenting and autism, sewing, and so much more. 

Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to hear the full interview: https://growingourfamily.com/S01E23/ 

My posts may contain affiliate links, which means that I may earn a small commission from your purchase, with no extra cost to you!

1. What is the benefit to using cloth diapers over disposable?

There are two major factors that go into choosing cloth over disposable. These come down to cost and the environment. 

Cost Benefit

Babies use between 8-12 diapers per day for about 3 years (give or take). At an average cost of $0.14 per diaper, that comes out to anywhere between $1,000 to $2,000 over their child’s diaper-wearing years. This is on the low end, and assumes you buy generic store-brand diapers or get them on great sales. If you decide to buy organic or name-brand options, the cost goes up significantly. Now, multiply that amount by each child and you have a good chunk of change spent on something that gets thrown away. 

If you go with cloth diapers, you can start your collection of about 40 diapers for around $200. This is even less if you decide to buy second hand. Most people suggest having around 40-50 diapers to rotate through and allow for less days of laundry. Luckily, most cloth diapers are one-size and will last through your child’s complete diapering years, and possible even through subsequent children’s diapering years. Even better, most cloth diapers have a decent resale value, and can be sold for about half of what you purchased them for. 

Environment

Disposable diapers can take over 500 years to biodegrade if they are exposed to the elements. However, most of these diapers are buried under piles of garbage, underground, or stuffed inside layers of plastic bags. Sitting here for this long can cause groundwater contamination from the human waste. Even with a disposable diaper, you are supposed to flush the poo, not throw it away. Overall, disposable diapers are bad for the environment in so many ways. The first step to choosing between disposable and cloth, is having enough information to make an educated decision. To read more about how disposable diapers affect the environment, check out the post on “The Terrifying Truth Behind Disposable Diapers” by Makayla Kane at Southern Comfort Living. 

2. How many Cloth Diapers do you need? 

This question is entirely dependent on how often you would like to do laundry. It is recommended to wash the diapers at least twice a week to extend the life and to prevent some less-than-desirable smells. Newborns need a diaper change about 10-12 times per day. If you would like to wash diapers every single day, you could be safe with getting around 15 diapers. As they get older, babies typically need fewer diaper changes. If you would prefer to do laundry twice a week, you will need closer to 40 diapers. If cost is an issue, you can always start with 15 or 20 diapers and slowly add to your collection. 

3. How do sizes work for Cloth Diapers?

Most cloth diapers are one-size fits all. The most common options are fitted diapers, flats, and prefolds. These all can be adjusted as your child grows, either with snaps or a change in folding methods. Some brands recommend getting newborn specific cloth diapers to ensure they fit properly, but then you can move into the one-size diapers after they get a little bigger. This is great because once you purchase the diapers, they will work for the life of your child’s diapering years. 

4. What are different types of cloth diapers?

The following descriptions were pulled from The Humbled Homemaker. You can find her entire list HERE. You don’t have to decide on one, get a few different types and try them out! In fact, you might prefer different ones for different occasions. 

  • Flats: Flats are large squares of fabric in a single layer that can be folded in multiple different ways. The fabric is usually a cotton material and this is the cheapest form of cloth diapering you can find. 
  • Prefolds: Prefolds are pieces of cloth that is folded into three sections, with the middle portion being the most absorbent. The fabric gets folded around your baby and is fastened or can be laid inside a cover. You have to use a cover to prevent leaks. 
  • Fitteds: Fitted diapers are usually made of cotton, bamboo, hemp, or fleece and are absorbent but not waterproof. These diapers come with snaps or velcro so you do not have to fold them yourself. As your child grows, you just use a different combination of snap locations to ensure a proper fit. You can check out these amazing fitted diapers at Southern Comfort Fitteds and receive 15% off using the code SOCOGOF. 
  • Contours: These are a mix between prefolds and fitted diapers. They are already shaped, but they do require a pin or snap to close and also require a cover. 
  • Hybrids: These are a cross between disposable and cloth diapers. They come with a washable cover but you can decide what to use for the insert. You can either purchase biodegradable disposable inserts or use a cloth insert. 
  • Pockets: These are one of the easier types of cloth diapers since they don’t need a cover and they come with snap or velcro closures. Each diaper comes with a pocket that needs to be stuffed with an absorbent insert and has a liner. This helps the urine to pass through the liner and absorb into the insert, helping your baby feel dry longer. You can also get a sleeve diaper which is very similar but has two openings in the pocket. 
  • All-in-twos: These are similar to the pocket diapers, but instead of stuffing an insert, you just snap them to the cover. You can either separate them to wash or you can try to leave them snapped together. 
  • All-in-ones: These are the most similar to disposable diapers and don’t require any covers, inserts, or liners. Even though these are the easiest, they are typically also the most expensive. 

For a full guide on how to wash cloth diapers, check out this full guide by Southern Comfort Living. 

5. Cloth Wipes

If you would like to give cloth wipes a try, they have many benefits. They are cost effective, reduces skin irritation, and are reusable! You can use baby washcloths or make your own. Store the wipes in a clean wet bag, old wipe box, plastic tupperware, or even a wipe warmer. You can either soak them in plain water or make your own wipe solution out of baby-safe ingredients. If you would like to keep them dry, you can store the wipe solution in a spray bottle and just spray the wipe before use. For a full tutorial on making wipes, creating your own wipe solution, or storage ideas, check out this article “Cloth Wipes Tutorial Plus Free Pattern”. 

Final Thoughts

Although cloth diapers may seem intimidating at first, they seem significantly less scary after doing my research. I personally haven’t used them yet, but I am seriously considering it for when my son is not in daycare. If you have any more questions on cloth diapers, check out Makayla’s full blog Southern Comfort Living or check her out on social media! 

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Meet the Expert!

everything you need to know about doulas

Everything you need to know about Doulas

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Are you considering hiring a doula for your birth? Wondering what a doula does and how they can help? Curious if it’s worth the extra expense? Here’s the low down on everything that you need to know about doulas. 

This is a guest Post by Ainsley McGovern. Please see her bio at the bottom!

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Everything you need to know about doulas growing our family

_______________

What is a Doula?

A doula is a person hired to assist women through their pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Some doulas also work with women postpartum. 

_______________

Are Doulas qualified?

A certified doula is not a medical provider and therefore cannot birth your child. However, doulas are trained and educated in all things pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Make sure you check on a doula’s credentials and certifications before hiring her. 

Doulas are there to prepare a woman for birth, serve as emotional support to both the parents, to advocate on a women’s behalf during labor and delivery, and to assist in a more natural birth through pain management techniques. (Note: I say natural childbirth because most people understand this to be no pain interventions. However, I HATE the term, because all birth is natural, no matter how the baby arrives!)

Even if you aren’t looking to have an all-natural (i.e. no artificial pain management like an epidural) birth experience, a doula can be there to help coach you through positioning and laboring comfortably, as well as being a great help during pregnancy and postpartum.

Most doulas also offer prenatal and birthing classes/sessions, either one on one or in groups. As they go through so much training, your doula is also a wonderful resource for knowledge on pregnancy and birth. 

_______________

My Doula Experience

Hiring a Doula

During my pregnancy, my husband and I discussed all of our options when it came to birth. After reading plenty of pregnancy books, I decided that I wanted to try to have a more natural birth, but in a hospital setting. I loved my OB and felt more comfortable knowing that should my baby need medical assistance, I was already in the hospital.

However, neither my husband nor I had been to a birth before. We knew in general what to expect, of course. But we decided that having an experienced professional there during the entire labor would be beneficial. 

We interviewed 3 different doulas, one over the phone and two in person. We decided to hire Doula Bianca (based out of New Orleans, LA) and it was the best decision that we could have made. 

When people ask my husband about the birth, one of the first things he says is how everyone should hire a doula. 

Doula Bianca met with us and answered all of our questions. What made her stand out was that she also answered a ton of questions we didn’t even know we had or that we needed to ask. 

She was very likable, asked us all sorts of questions about what we wanted, and was not pushy to get us to hire her. 

During Pregnancy

Once we did hire her, we signed a contract that detailed every little thing that she would and wouldn’t do or offer. 

Included in her services were two prenatal visits and one postpartum visit. 

The first prenatal visit was by far the most important, as we went over and discussed writing a birth plan. We talked through every option and possibility for birth, and she explained in layman’s terms what everything meant. Knowing I was looking to have a natural birth, she also showed me some stretches and exercises that could help with that. 

Doula Bianca was also available via text from the moment we signed our contract. She answered every question that I had and was able to point me toward more resources I needed. 

During Labor and Delivery

Once my water broke, I texted her to be on standby. She was supposed to come to my house once my contractions started getting closer together. I really wanted her to be able to tell me when it was a good time to go to the hospital, as I didn’t want to go early and then have the medical staff pressure me into pain management medications.

That didn’t quite go as planned—while she was on her way to my house, my husband decided that it was time to go to the hospital, so she met us there. 

I know it sounds dramatic, but I truly believe that without Bianca there, I would have ended up taking pain interventions. 

She helped apply pressure to my hips through every contraction and recommended positions for me to get comfortable in. Our doula used a TENS machine to help distract me during labor. 

She also coached me and encouraged me, and she coached my husband on how to better help me when I needed it. She even physically helped by holding my leg while I was pushing.

During Postpartum

Doula Bianca stayed with us in the hospital for about an hour after my son was born. She asked how I felt and told me how great I did. She made sure I had everything I needed and asked if I felt like everything went how I’d imagined. 

Though part of my package was a postpartum visit, I have yet to actually schedule this with her! But she offers to come and watch the baby, help with breastfeeding questions or concerns, clean up some, etc. 

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Choosing a Doula

I would recommend you start by asking family and friends if they’ve used a doula in the area. You can also ask for recommendations in local mom Facebook groups. Ask your doctor or midwife, or use doula certification websites like cappa.net or dona.org. 

You definitely want to interview a doula before you hire her. I would even recommend interviewing 2 or more, just so that you have something to compare to. 

You’ll want to ask some specific questions about their training, methods, and what they’ll do to help you. Check out my post on Must Ask Questions Before Hiring a Doula and get your free printable interview questions! 

But (possibly more importantly) you’ll want to find someone that you mesh with, someone who you connect with. You want to be comfortable with your doula—they’re going to be helping you during some of your most vulnerable moments. You want to find someone you trust to ease your pain, encourage you, and advocate for you. 

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How Doulas help during pregnancy

Doulas are trained in all things pregnancy and birth, so they usually come with a brain full of educational resources. Throughout your pregnancy, you can use your doula by asking questions and for advice on how to help ease pains, speed up labor, and have a more natural childbirth. 

A doula’s job is to help you feel empowered. The best way to feel empowered about birth is to feel prepared and informed about all of your options. Having a doula by your side can be comforting, knowing that you have an expert in the room who’s on your side, knows your desires and can advocate for you. 

If you’re feeling any pregnancy pains, like back or hip pain, doulas often can recommend stretches, positions, or exercises to help ease that pain. 

Creating a Birth Plan

A birth plan is your idea of how you would like birth to go. Like I mentioned, I knew I wanted to try for a natural birth. I understood, of course, that birth does not always go to plan and you have to be flexible. If the baby or mom is in distress, things might need to be adjusted. 

I highly recommend having a written birth plan that you can discuss with your OB/midwife. This is a list of all of the things that you do and don’t want during birth. 

A doula can work with you to explain all of the common birth practices, interventions, and options out there so that you can make an informed choice. 

I think that the best thing our doula did for us, was help us write out our birth plan. 

Things you’ll decide on for your birth plan include getting an epidural, being induced, types of induction, vaginal exams for progression, electronic fetal monitoring, positions to labor in, having an IV, etc. 

Please note, if you’re giving birth in a hospital or birthing center, there are likely some standard practices that you’ll have to follow. 

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How Doulas help during labor and delivery

An OB or midwife likely won’t be able to be there for you throughout your entire labor. However, a doula can be. You will be your doula’s only client, her only focus. She is there to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible, that your needs are met. 

A wonderful part about having a doula you trust with you during your labor is that you can focus completely on laboring. You know that she has your back, that she is advocating for you. 

Your doula’s job is to make you feel empowered during birth. If something needs to happen that isn’t part of your birth plan, she can objectively make a decision that aligns with your views and desires. 

A doula can also help guide your birth team (husband, mother, sister—whomever you choose to be in the labor and delivery room with you) on how to help you. They can show them where to put pressure on your hips to help during contractions. Our doula did the physical help, allowing my husband to be my emotional support and hold my hand the entire time. 

Doulas are trained to help you—she can notice when your labor is stalling and give natural ways to get it back going. She can also notice when you’re transitioning to the next stage of labor and give you natural comfort recommendations to minimize the pain. 

Some studies have shown that having a doula at your birth reduces the likelihood of using an epidural or having an emergency c-section.  

Choosing the right doula is so important because you want her to bring a sense of comfort to the room. You need someone who can encourage you, guide you, calm you, and direct you. 

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How Doulas help during postpartum

A doula’s job is not done as soon as the baby arrives. Most doulas will also stay with you for a little while after birth, making sure that you’re okay. They’re also often trained to help you with breastfeeding, educating you on positioning, latching, and any questions you have. 

Ask your doula if she offers a postpartum visit. She can come to your house during the newborn period and help you wherever you need. 

Need someone to talk to? Need some laundry folded? Maybe someone to watch the baby while you take a shower? How about someone to help more with breastfeeding or pumping? Need to know some stretches or exercises to help ease the pain? Your doula is here for you. 

It’s nice to have someone who attended your birth who you can talk with later about the entire thing, to help you process what happened. The birth of your baby is one of the most precious moments in your life, and yet it’s so very hard to remember the details. Hard to really process through how much your life changed in just a few moments. 

Some doulas also provide other services, like placenta encapsulation, newborn care, or postpartum classes. 

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All in all, I would highly recommend that all mommas consider hiring a doula, especially first-time mommas looking to have a more natural childbirth. 

I think that second (or third or fourth…) time moms can benefit from the knowledge and experience of a doula. Especially if birth didn’t go quite how you wanted it the first time around, a doula can help craft your birth plan and coach you so that you can take control of the birthing experience. 

And even if you don’t want a drug-free, no-intervention childbirth, a doula can help put you at ease and lessen the likelihood of you having an emergency c-section. 

Are you considering hiring a doula? Did you hire a doula for previous births? What questions do you still have about how a doula can help? Let us know!

Don’t forget to grab your free Doula Interview Questionnaire!

Good luck mommas, 

Ainsley

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Braxton-Hicks vs real labor contractions

Braxton-Hicks vs Real Labor Contractions

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If you feel tightening in your belly during pregnancy, it might be Braxton-Hicks. This is a normal part of pregnancy and does not necessarily mean you are going into labor. It can be hard for moms (especially first-time moms) to tell the difference between true labor contractions and these “practice” contractions. This guide will help you determine the difference between braxton-hicks and regular labor contractions and tips for managing them. 

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If you prefer to listen instead of read, check out my podcast on this subject HERE. 

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Braxton-Hicks vs true labor contractions. What are they, how to tell the difference, and tips for alleviating these "practice" contractions Growing Our Family.

What are Braxton-Hicks Contractions?

According to NCBI, “Braxton Hicks contractions are sporadic contractions and relaxation of the uterine muscle. Sometimes, they are referred to as prodromal or “false labor” pains.” They can start when you are only 6 weeks pregnant, but most women do not feel them until they are well into their pregnancy; around the 2nd or 3rd trimesters. 

Why do we get them?

Braxton Hicks are your body’s way of preparing for labor. They are practice contractions to prepare you for when you actually go into labor. Experiencing Braxton Hicks does not actually indicate the beginning of labor. 

How to tell the difference?

If you are trying to determine whether your contractions are real labor contractions or Braxton Hicks, you can ask yourself the following questions. 

1. How Often?

Braxton Hicks (BH) contractions will be irregular and will not get closer together. Real labor contractions will come in regular intervals and will get stronger and closer together.  

2. How Long? 

Contractions will be irregular and can last anywhere from 30 seconds up to 2 minutes. They will be unpredictable and will not occur in any particular pattern. Real labor contractions will be consistent and will last longer as time goes on. They will start at about 30 seconds and will increase to about 90 seconds per contraction. 

3. How Strong? 

BH contractions are usually not as painful as real contractions. If you feel like the contractions are getting weaker, they are most definitely braxton hicks as real contractions do not get less intense. Real labor contractions will always get stronger over time. 

4. Where do you feel them? 

Braxton Hicks are usually only felt in one part of your belly, usually the front. Real labor contractions will usually start as an ache in your back and lower part of your belly. You will also feel pressure in your pelvis. Contractions resemble a wave, and will move from the top of your uterus to the bottom. 

5. Can you change positions?

If you can change your position by standing up, sitting down, or laying on your left side and this change helps the contractions it is Braxton Hicks. Real labor contractions will not improve no matter which position you are in. You will also not be able to sleep through true labor contractions whereas Braxton Hicks you may be able to take a nap or snooze through. 

What can trigger Braxon-Hicks?

  • Being overly active – for either mom or baby
  • Extra belly touching
  • When your bladder is full
  • After intercourse
  • Dehydration

Tips to alleviate Braxon-Hicks contractions:

  • Take a warm bath or shower. Many women say the contractions stopped in the shower. Try to keep it to 30 minutes or less to avoid getting overheated. 
  • Change your position. If you have been active, lay on your left side to help promote circulation. If you have been lying down for a while, try going for a walk. 
  • Drink water. When you are dehydrated, your muscles can start to contract. This makes no exception for your uterine muscles. If you are experiencing some contractions, drink a couple of glasses of water. 

What to do with true labor contractions?

Most women can experience irregular Braxton Hicks contractions anywhere from a few hours to a few days before real labor contractions begin. Try not to worry if this is real labor, when you are truly in labor you will know. Once the contractions become more noticeable and you have gone through the checklist and determine you are experiencing real labor contractions, you can start monitoring them. 

True labor contractions will always get longer, stronger, and closer together. 

Labor is a gradual process, so it can take a while for you to progress far enough for the hospital to accept you. Contrary to popular belief, most women do not have a big water-breaking event to signal when labor begins. Most expecting parents make their way to the hospital or birth center when they go from early to active labor. 

A good guide for heading to the hospital is to follow the 3-1-1 rule. This is when your contractions are 3 minutes apart from start to start, lasting for one minute each, and goes on for one hour. 

Check out my review of one of the best free contraction apps HERE.

This time can be very exciting and exhausting. It’s hard to believe that this is it, but try to take some time to settle down and work through labor. Try to alternate between rest and activities by doing things like going for a walk and then putting your feet up. When your contractions get to the point where you can no longer talk through them, you are likely getting close. Keep monitoring and try to breathe through them. This is when tips from a birthing class come into handy. Listen to your body and trust your gut. If you feel like you should be heading to the hospital, you should go. 

References

National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) – Braxton Hicks Contractions by Deborah A. Raines and Danielle B. Cooper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/ 

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Product Review - Contraction Timer App

Contraction Timer App

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Contraction Timer apps have become very popular now that everybody owns a smartphone. The last thing you want to do during labor is find a pen and pencil, pull out your timer, and write down the start, end, and duration of each contraction. These apps make timing contractions so much easier with the push of a button. You hit start when the contraction begins, end when the contraction ends, and it automatically calculates the duration, intervals, and puts it in a pretty chart. When you get to the hospital, your nurse will most likely ask you what your contractions have been like, and it’s easy to just read (or show them) the data on your phone. 

My posts may contain affiliate links, which means that I may earn a small commission from your purchase, with no extra cost to you!

With so many apps out there, how do you decide which one to go with? Well, they all pretty much do the same thing, so it all comes down to ease of use and features. I found the Contraction Timer by Penguin Apps to be one of the most comprehensive free options out there.

(Note: I am not an affiliate with this app, I just think it’s a great resource for expecting parents.) 

You can get it for iPhone or Android at the following links: 

Download for iPhone HERE. 

Download for Android HERE. 

Once you download it, the main screen will look like this:

Contraction App Home Screen Growing Our Family

You have the option to add a contraction manually (this is great if you missed one but want it to show up in the analytics). You can click anywhere on the screen to start timing a contraction or go to the menu in the upper left hand corner to access averages, graphs, and settings; or to reset the contractions and start over.

Contraction App Menu Growing Our Family

Once you have started the counter, the screen will turn red and start counting up. When the contraction is finished, you can click anywhere on the screen to stop the timer and it automatically logs the contraction. On the timer screen, there is a scale at the bottom to log the intensity. Your options include slight, mild, moderate, strong, and intense.

Contraction App Timer Growing Our Family

Once you end the contraction the app will take you back to the main screen. This will show all of your contractions, the duration of each, the interval between each of them, what time it occurred, and the intensity. This will show the pattern of your contractions so you can determine if they are, in fact, getting longer, stronger, and closer together. Once you get to the 3-1-1 rule (3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute each, for 1 hour), you should head to the hospital or birth center.

Contraction App Intervals Growing Our Family

To see it in graph form, simply head to the menu and click “graph”.

Contraction App Graph Growing Our Family

If you missed a contraction, or you made a mistake in logging it, you can manually go in and change the information. It also gives you the option to add any notes if you would like.

Contraction App edit Growing Our Family

If you would like to change the interval information, you can. They give you the option to measure from start to start or end to start. Start to Start is the standard and will most likely be what your nurse or doctor will ask you about. End to start will tell you the time between contractions (eg the break you get from one contraction to another). 

Contraction App Interval settings Growing Our Family

Downsides

I personally have not experienced any negatives about this app. However, when reading the reviews on the app store, I saw multiple negative reviews on the poor timing of the ads. Apparently, many expecting parents have had the issue with a pop up asking them to review the app every time they start a contraction. I agree with them, that this is extremely poor timing and nobody would choose that exact moment to review the app. Through all the times I have used it, I never once got this popup which makes me think they fixed it in one of the updates. 

Overall

This is a great app and I love that it is available on both Apple iTunes and Google Play stores. I would suggest downloading it prior to going into labor on both the mom and birth partner’s phones. 

Resources: 

Download for iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/contraction-timer-time-labor/id933501579

Download for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.com.penguinapps.android.beautifulcontractiontimer.app 

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Newborn tips growing our family-1

Newborn Tips

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As an expecting parent, life with a newborn can seem very intimidating. Here are 10 newborn tips and tricks for making it through those first few months with Baby. 

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Newborn Tips Advice for first time parents on surviving those first few weeks Growing Our Family

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps

You are probably so tired of hearing this piece of advice, but the reason it’s so popular is because it’s true. Obviously, you do not need 17 hours of sleep per day, so I don’t mean sleep every time the baby sleeps, but just use it as a guide. Some moms try to use that time to catch up on laundry, clean the house, or make fancy meals because that is what they are used to doing in their spare time. I’ll give you a piece of advice – nobody cares if your house is a mess. You just birthed a human being, I think you’ve earned a little break from cleaning. Instead, try to get some naps throughout the day so those midnight feedings aren’t as tough on you. Naptime is also a great way to get a few minutes to shower, use the restroom, or anything else you might need for self-care. If you don’t want to do these during naptime, you can always move a swing or portable bassinet into the room to keep an eye on baby while you shower!

2. Split the duties

Sleep can be scarce in those first few weeks and there is no sense in both partners being overly exhausted. Have one person stay up later with the baby while the other goes to bed early. Then in the morning, the person who went to bed early can get up with the baby while the other sleeps in a bit. If you are breastfeeding, it can be a bit harder since you are in charge of most (if not all) of the feedings. If either of you are having a hard time falling back to sleep after those midnight feedings, you can check out my post for tips HERE. 

3. Contain Blow-Outs

Blow-outs do happen, unfortunately, and usually at the most inconvenient times. It’s best to lay down a changing pad liner to contain the mess. I love THESE washable cloth liners by Munchkin (full review HERE) because they are compact, easy to clean, and they come in a 3-pack. Get set up with a changing pad, change of clothes, a new diaper, and plenty of wipes. A normal onesie has the folds on the shoulder; this is so you can pull the outfit down over their shoulders to avoid getting the mess on their face or hair. I normally use Dreft stain remover spray to get the stains out of his clothes and it has worked well for me (as long as I don’t let the clothes sit for too long). 

Newborn Tips: Dreft stain remover

For the middle of the night blowouts, there is a parenting hack that can save you so much time. Purchase 3 crib/bassinet sheets and 3 waterproof liners. Layer them on the crib or bassinet (wherever your child sleeps currently). When your baby spits up or has a blow out in the middle of the night, you can just strip the top layer of sheet and the waterproof liner off and you will have a fresh set underneath. 

4. Understanding Baby Clothes

Some baby clothes come in 0-3 months, 3-6 months, and so on which makes it clear on the size range. However, some clothes just have one size (eg: 3-months, 6 mo, 9 mo…) which will generally fit a baby up to that age. So a 3-month clothing item will fit a standard size baby until about 3 or 4 months. Just like adult clothes, different brands will fit differently. Some will be longer and skinnier, while others might be shorter and wider. If you are trying out a new brand for the first time, don’t rip off all the tags before you know they will fit well. 

5. Understanding Diapers

To go along with the previous tip, diapers are also baby-dependent. Some parents will swear by one brand, while others say their baby leaks and blows out of them every time. This is because they all fit slightly different. I would recommend buying a small pack of a new brand so if they don’t work for your child, you can return them. There are also companies like Diaper Dabbler that specialize in creating packs of different brand diapers so you can try them out and see which ones work best. We were able to try a few different brands through all the registry welcome boxes we received. Additionally, some store brand diapers are made by popular brands and can be a great cost-saving alternative. 

  • Luvs – Target Store Brand. These diapers are made by the Pampers manufacturer Procter & Gamble. These are an older style of diaper without the elastic waistband and are sold at a cheaper cost than Pampers brand name. 
  • Kirkland – Costco Store Brand. These diapers are made by Huggies manufacturer Kimberly Clark. They are an older generation of Huggies diapers sold at a much lower price tag. 
  • Other popular stores like Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Target, and some national grocery stores negotiate with Procter & Gamble and Kimberly Clark for a version of their brand diapers every year. This means that the diapers you buy at these stores might be an older model of the above brands, but the manufacturer and quality of the diapers can change every year. 

6. Take advantage of Baby-wearing

Baby wearing can be so helpful for so many things. First, I always preferred to wear my baby when we went out and about. People are much less likely to try and touch or kiss them when they are pressed up against your boobs. It also keeps them warmer and happier being close to mom or dad. I really love my Lillebaby structured carrier for outings or anytime I have to wear the baby for an extended period of time.

Newborn Tips: Baby wearing Lillebaby

For an easier, more compact carrier, I love my K’Tan carrier. This wrap is different than many other wraps, in the fact that you don’t have to tie it around your body is any complicated fashion. You just slip your arms through and pop baby in. This is my favorite carrier to keep in my diaper bag or to use around the house while I’m trying to get things done. I can do the dishes, cleaning, laundry, vacuum, or anything else while still holding and bonding with the baby. You can also position the carrier lower and breastfeed handsfree after you get the hang of breastfeeding and baby gets a little more head control.

Newborn Tips: K'Tan Baby Wearing

7. Set up Stations throughout the House

Diaper changing, breastfeeding, and bathroom stations can be so helpful. Put a basket with all the essentials in each of the main rooms so you have everything you need without having to search for things. Stock the bathrooms with pads, dermoplast spray, tucks pads, extra underwear, and wipes. For a list of items to include in your breastfeeding stations, you can check out my post on all things related to breastfeeding HERE. 

8. Remember to take care of yourself

If you have time before the baby gets here, try to prep some freezer meals. This will be a lifesaver for when you don’t feel like cooking in those first few weeks. I would also highly suggest taking advantage of grocery delivery or free grocery pickup if you are on a budget. I signed up for Instacart and I am still using it 9 months postpartum. Taking a baby to a grocery store can be hard and unpredictable so I try to avoid it like the plague. If you are looking for free alternatives, many grocery stores are now doing free grocery pickup when you order online. I’ve used the Walmart grocery pickup and was pleasantly surprised with the quality of their produce and with the fact that they bring it out to your car and load it into your car for you. 

You should also invest in a nice water bottle or tumbler with a straw. The straw helps with staying hydrated while breastfeeding or babywearing so you can tip it to the side and take a sip. If guests want to come over and ask to bring something, don’t hesitate to ask for them to bring over dinner! People WANT to help and are more than happy to do so. 

9. Don’t expect too much too soon

The first 8 weeks or so are really on an on-demand basis. Nursing (or feeding) on demand is a great way to keep babies growing and gaining weight at the right amount. Watch for hunger cues and feed them whenever they act hungry. This is great for development, but not so great for schedules. Newborns also get around 16 to 17 hours of sleep per day, but they only sleep for about 2-4 hours at a time. This means it will feel like they are sleeping ALL. THE. TIME. 

Once your baby is about 6 weeks old, you can try to start implementing a schedule if you would like. This drastically helps once you go back to work so you can let the daycare know what time is nap time and when they eat. This will help with crankiness in the evenings. Open windows during the day and turn on all the lights. Don’t worry about sounds, lights, or any other normal daytime stimuli. When bedtime rolls around, turn off the lights, shut the blinds, and keep the house quiet. This will help baby differentiate the difference between day and night so *hopefully* they will start taking longer stretches during the night. 

10. Try to enjoy the time with them.

Hold them, snuggle them, and take way too many pictures. This time goes by so quickly, and soon you will be looking back wondering how they got so big, so quickly. The beginning can be exhausting, but it doesn’t last for long. I love using TinyBeans App to share my photos with friends and family that don’t have social media (full review HERE).

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Pregnancy myths-3

Pregnancy Myths – Explained

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During pregnancy, you will get so much conflicting information. The best course of action is to take the advice of your medical professional overseeing the pregnancy. However, here are some common wives-tales that have proven to be false to help answer some of those pregnancy questions you may have. 

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Common Pregnancy Myths Explained Growing Our Family Pregnancy Podcast

1. Everybody Gets Morning Sickness

Some women are under the impression that every pregnant woman gets morning sickness. Some expecting moms are even concerned something is wrong when they don’t find themselves hugging the porcelain thrown every morning. Up to 85% of pregnant women get some form of nausea or throwing up, and only 60-70% of those women actually end up throwing up. 

The other common myth that comes with morning sickness is that it only happens in the morning. Morning sickness can happen at any time during the day or night. If you are experiencing bad morning sickness, try switching up the time of day you take your prenatal vitamin, preferably after a meal. Taking it on an empty stomach can make you feel more nauseous. 

2. Your baby will come on its due date

Only about 5% of babies actually come on their due date. Your due date is only an estimate based on your last period. This assumes that you ovulated 2 weeks after your period, which isn’t the case for all women. Full-term is anywhere between 39 and 41 weeks (according to ACOG). 

3. You’re eating for two

This is a common phrase that I heard constantly throughout my pregnancy. Although I knew it wasn’t true, I still used the pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever and whenever I wanted. I ended up gaining 60 lbs during pregnancy and was lucky to lose it all within the first few months of breastfeeding. However, gaining too much weight can lead to some serious complications like gestational diabetes or high blood pressure. If I had to do it over again, I would focus on eating healthier. 

Even if you aren’t “eating for two”, you should be increasing the amount of calories you intake per day to about 300. This may seem like a lot of calories, but it adds up quickly. Some great (and easy) pregnancy snacks to add to your day can include: 

  • Veggie sticks and Hummus
  • Apple Slices and Peanut butter
  • Greek yogurt with berries and granola
  • Homemade trail mix

4. Everybody Loves Pregnancy

You see the movies where women talk about how much they are enjoying their pregnancy and how easy it is. Then you become pregnant and you are miserable THE. ENTIRE. TIME. This makes some women think “what is wrong with me, why aren’t I enjoying this?” and the answer to that is: Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you if you loved every second of your pregnancy and there is absolutely nothing wrong if you hated every second. Every single pregnancy is different, even between your first and second kid. I wish everyone had a blissful pregnancy, but I also wish people would stop making pregnancy out to be this amazing, magical thing. Yes, our bodies are doing something truly incredible, but it’s also OK to not love every second of it. 

5. Breastfeeding makes your boobs saggy

Your boobs get bigger during pregnancy (whether you breastfeed or not) which can stretch out the skin. Research has shown that breastfeeding doesn’t make your boobs any saggier compared to just going through pregnancy. The skin and ligaments around your breasts typically stretch during pregnancy and your boobs will get heavier in preparation for breastfeeding. Whether you end up breastfeeding or not, your breasts will still produce milk in the beginning, and you will likely become engorged. When your breasts shrink back down, the ligaments might not shrink with them which is what can make your boobs saggy. 

6. Labor starts with your water breaking

This is Hollywood’s way of adding a burst of excitement and embarrassment to the beginning of labor. In fact, only about 15% of women have their water break before labor begins. I think it is a worry for most women that their water is going to break somewhere inconvenient (like at work or in the grocery store) but your chances are much higher that it will end up breaking at the hospital while you are in labor. Additionally, it isn’t always a gush of fluid like it shows in the movies either. The fluid CAN gush out, but it can also be a slow leak or trickle. If you are going through a pad per hour, you should give your healthcare provider or labor and delivery a call. 

7. You can tell the gender by the way you carry

“If you are carrying low, it’s a boy. If you’re carrying high, it’s a girl.” I’m sure you’ve heard this statement before. Unfortunately, the way your body carries the baby has nothing to do with genitals and everything to do with the size and position of the baby along with your individual body. You also cannot accurately predict the gender by observing how oily your skin is, which side you typically sleep on, what the heart rate is, or how many times you threw up in the first trimester. Even though these things are fun to predict, I wouldn’t go decorating the nursery based on the shape of your belly. 

8. You can prevent stretch marks 

Unfortunately for me, there isn’t much you can do about stretch marks. It is mostly hereditary and has a lot to do with the elasticity of your skin and how much weight you gain during pregnancy. If your mom got stretch marks during pregnancy, you have a higher chance of getting them as well. Also, if you have ever gotten stretch marks on your hips, thighs, or boobs – you might be more prone to them. 

One thing that IS true about stretch marks is that you can get them all over your body; not just on your belly. I ended up with stretch marks on my belly, hips, thighs, underarms, and boobs. I was applying lotion daily, but I am just prone to getting them. The good news is that they should fade over time. Although the lotion didn’t help with the tiger stripes, it is still a great idea to apply lotion frequently and drink lots of water to help keep your skin hydrated and help prevent itching. 

9. If you have a C-Section, all babies after that have to be Cesarean 

Some women think that if you have a Cesarean Birth, all subsequent births must also be c-sections. In some cases, this may be true to keep both mom and baby safe. But there is a term for not having a c-section the second time around and that is called a VBAC or Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. You can talk to your doctor or midwife about a VBAC and see if you would be a good candidate. Some common things they will look for to see eligibility is if you have a low-transverse (aka a horizontal) incision and if the reason for your first c-section was due to a non-repetitive reason. Non-repetitive reasons are usually things like a breech baby or abnormal heart rate during monitoring. If you had a long or complex labor previously and resulted in a c-section due to failure to progress, you may not be a great candidate. They also don’t recommend it if you’ve had multiple c-sections or have certain health issues. 

11. You cannot eat lunch meat 

This is partially true. Although you should avoid older lunch meat or food that has been sitting out for a while, you do not need to avoid lunch meat altogether. If you plan to eat lunch meat, you should definitely heat until steaming. If it’s steaming, any Listeria bacteria should be killed – which is the main concern in eating deli meat. 

12. You cannot drink coffee

Most people will tell you to avoid coffee altogether during pregnancy, but experts say that may not be necessary. Most experts have concluded that drinking 200 mg or less of caffeine per day is safe. This equates to about one 12-ounce cup of regular coffee. If this still seems like more than you want to consume per day, you can try mixing half regular and half decaf. However, decaf coffee still has about 10 mg in a 12-ounce cup. 

Overall

There is still so much information out there and so many unknowns when it comes to pregnancy. It’s obviously not safe (or ethical) to conduct tests on pregnant women, which is why there are so few studies to pull from for information. As always, work with your doctor or midwife if you have questions or concerns about your pregnancy, as they are the experts in your pregnancy. 

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12 Common Pregnancy Myths Explained Growing Our Family Pregnancy Podcast
Pregnancy Myths Debunked Growing Our Family Pregnancy Podcast

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